Revival: Mind, Body and Spirit.

True peace of mind can be a very hard thing to come by for most of us. Our busy schedules, complicated relationships and even the struggle that we take on within ourselves seems to weigh so heavy on our mind and heart. Most of the time we are physically and emotionally unavailable to take the time that we need to collect and relax. Sometimes, you just need a little "Om" in you life.

So with that in mind, I have been doing some work on myself over the past couple of months in order to achieve peace, balance and bliss. I have to be honest, this has not been easy for me. However, I have grown strong during these months and have learned to let go of poisonous toxins, both internal and external, that were taking control of my life and slowly killing one piece of me at a time. These toxins come in many different forms such as people, bad habits, lack of respect (for yourself, others and life in general), suppressed feelings of anger and/or sadness....the list goes on my friends. We all have our poison and can recognize it most of the time.

A huge weakness of mine that I have been trying to overcome is my own thoughts. I put myself down more than anyone else around me and because of that, when others start to take those phsychological jabs at me I begin to truly believe them no matter how ridiculous they may seem. My last break up naturally stirred up a lot of personal attacks on me as well as the other party involved. I even stopped writing in my blog because it became too much for me to handle. I started distracting myself with friends and hobbies which  seemed to help but only temporarily. If I wasn't getting a daily dose of those I was like a drug addict coming off of heroine. Not a pretty sight, trust me on that.  

I realized at that point that I needed something more, something deeper to go along with everything that I had and was doing. I started to see that I was not being completely honest with myself or to the people around me because I was afraid to open up. I thought if I kept everything inside it would eventually go away but nothing is that simple. Once I started to let out all of the suppressed feelings that I had unnecessarily been holding onto, it was like someone lifted a mountain off of me. I felt so free and light that I could almost fly.

The respect I now have for my mind and body has created a sort of mass army of positives. The positives not only get rid of the existing negatives but they keep other negatives from coming in. In a way this new respect has conditioned me to stay balanced in all aspects of my life. I have found my song and I have decided to sing it and sing it loud.

“Life isn't about finding yourself. Life is about creating yourself.”
~George Bernard Shaw

The Long Road

New adventures are on the way. It is hard to believe we are already in March 2011! Life feels like it has been slipping through my fingertips faster than I can embrace it. When everything seems to be moving so quickly and it feels like time is limited, it can be hard to stop and take a breath. However, with every new breath I take brings with it a massive amount of peace and clarity. Balance has slowly been showing it's face around me again and I am finally able to move on to new and better things!

For the next six or seven more months here in Memphis I will be preparing myself  for a one way trip to Cordoba, Argentina where I will be visiting with family and learning all about their culture. I plan on staying for at least a year but possibly longer depending on my status by that time. I know this experience will be one I will never forget. It has always been a dream of mine to travel around the world and Argentina is a wonderful place to start.

Leaving Memphis to go abroad will no doubt be extremely fun and in many ways a little scary. I am thankful for everyone that has been apart of my life so far and for my loving support system who stands by me on a daily basis. I have had many great influences. People will place the "good" and "bad" label on anything but I have stopped doing that.  I don't want to label things as a regret or a mistake. I am looking at everything as a learning experience so that I may have no regrets but instead be grateful for the knowledge I have gained.

"The journey is what brings us happiness not the destination.
 There are no ordinary moments."

 ~Peaceful Warrior

Stop and Stare

Romance is such an admirable property of life. Unfortunately for many of us, it is also one of the most forgotten. In my experience as a single woman and a woman in love, I have come to understand that romance is a vital key to happiness. This is what keeps the love alive and thriving. Without it, I feel you are doomed for failure.

My previous relationship seemed to be strongly lacking in this field. Of course the beginning of any new relationship is interesting and exciting but as it goes on, when all of the dust settles, that is when you find out what is really lying underneath the surface. At this point, what I saw in our relationship was...nothing. Emptiness. No love, no compassion. Emotionally this became extremely draining. I slowly became cold and bitter over time and our relationship evolved into a damaged love that we could never piece together again.

Being a single woman again, it is hard to channel the need for romance in the right direction without getting myself into trouble. Fortunately for me, I have all of the fundamental ingredients for a fresh start. I have an amazing family for support, wonderful friends for encouragement, and most days a positive outlook on life which in turn gives me that wonderful "can do" attitude!

Recently I have had the privilege to reconnect with a "long lost friend" of mine way back from elementary/middle school. He told me about how he has been running a lot in the morning  when the sun is just starting to rise above the dew-filled hills. He was running so fast that all of the the beautiful colors were swimming past him. He eventually stopped at an alluring spot by the river and just stared. The stunning sight of a regenerated day caught his attention for just long enough to make him realize what he was missing out on while sprinting through his life.

People as a whole are guilty of this from time to time. More often than not we never realize it until it's too late. My goal this year in 2011 is to learn to open my eyes. I want to see and experience all of the good things that my hectic and oh so "important" schedule often blinds me from. I want to romance myself as well as let the world and all of its beauty romance me. It is especially important to keep and open heart as well as an open mind in a world that seems to shut us out at every turn. I can either stay on this island that I have built for myself and know what my life will always be, or I can take a giant leap of faith into the unknown and find challenges, adventures and hope for a brighter future. It is time to "trade the known for the unknown to recieve the impossible"! Whos with me?

Brand New Day

Life can be very intimidating if you let it. The stress that we as human beings have to endure on a daily basis is enough to cause any one of us to become unbalanced and deranged. One of life's heavy weights that I truly wish I could avoid are break ups. The only problem is, in order to avoid the break up, I would have to avoid the relationship. I know many people that have tried and are still trying this trick even to this day. I however know that I will never be able to, nor would I want to accomplish this.

Instead of limiting myself to how many people I let into my life, I just pray that God would increase my capacity to love and bare the burdens of others. It is inevitable...people will use me, accuse me, label me, and expect more from me than they should. Running away from those trying to embrace me will not make me a stronger person.

Then comes the second part of this equation (this is where I have landed recently). After accepting someone into my life and it doesn't work out, what do I do? I realized that in my case it was best just to walk away. Right now it is like pouring gasoline onto an already burning fire. However, overtime that fire will decrease in size and intensity, the flames will become less vibrant and the heat will not feel as harsh as it once did. It will die down until overtime all that is left are the ashes. The dust of what was once a pile of bitter words, crude actions and pain. But there are no regrets.

I have said it once before and I will say it again; With every drop of pain comes a fountain of knowledge. I have learned so much not only about myself, but about others as well that has given me a greater understanding of my life. I am blessed with this brand new day and ecstatic to find out what comes next!